Never the same love twice
by itwasinevitable
Summary: There are all kinds of love in this world, but never the same love twice. This story takes place after Arizona moves to New York for Sofia. Imagine her 'temporarily' moving in with Addison Montgomery, who moved to New York right after her good friend Callie did. Arizona/Addison pairing. Message for haters: don't like it? Don't read it!
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi everyone! This is a story that's been in my head for a while. Thought I'd just share it with you. Have fun reading! Oh, and a fair warning. This is not Calzona... if you don't like the pairing, don't read it. It's not that hard. **_

* * *

**Chapter one**

**Arizona's POV**

You're done with Seattle. You need to be done with Seattle. Your daughter is finally here with you, but being in Seattle without her other mom is making her unhappy. And if there is one thing that you fought so hard for by letting your daughter go to New York with Callie, despite your own feelings, it's your daughter's happiness.

So you are done with Seattle. Which means that you have to leave Carina behind. Which pains you. In so many ways she's healed you. Bettered you. She healed you from Callie, and from Eliza. Those relationships were both paired with more dependency than you would like to admit. The love you had for yourself was dependent from their love for you.

Which actually made you feel like crap. Because with Callie, with all that you guys have been through, you couldn't make it work. You started hating yourself more and more. With Eliza, well. She was actually gone before you could honestly try to make it work. But the feelings were there. For the first time since Callie, the feelings were there. God you fell hard for her.

That one hurt you more than you would've thought after such a short span of time. She was proof that it was still possible. That after Callie it was still possible for you to fall head over heels for someone.

Then there is Carina. But like literally on the night that Eliza ghosted you. And she's different. It's a different kind of relationship. Maybe because it began the way it did. With sex, and with no expectations whatsoever. You never knew that it was possible to maintain a relationship without big expectations.

And now, a few months later you really haven't defined what you guys are. It's some form of a relationship, and it actually works better than you both would ever have imagined. Because you guys never expected to really end up together.

It wasn't supposed to be a thing, but it is. It's a thing. You're certain that Carina fell for you harder than she wanted. Carina isn't someone that falls.

She keeps you on your toes. She made you see that there are different types of relationships, and that you can be in control of the kind of relationship you have. She gives you control. Without giving up control over her own feelings herself.

She loves you without expectations. If it's love love? You don't know. You are sure that she loves you in some way though. And that actually is enough for you. And during these few months you've learned to love yourself again. You like the person you are around her. You like the person she is around you.

But is it enough? You're going to move to New York. That's a fact. There's only one choice to make. Is it enough to ask her to go with you? Do you want her to go with you?

You already know the answer. As much as you love Carina for all the things she brought you over the past months. It's not enough.

She doesn't make you weak in the knees in the way that you know is possible. You don't look for her all day. When you see her, it doesn't make you catch your breath. Your heart doesn't speed up the way you know it can. Your palms don't sweat like you know they can. Seeing her, talking to her and touching her. It's not all that you're thinking about.

So you're going to New York with Sofia alone.

* * *

When you call Callie she's over the moon for you to get to New York. She wants you there as soon as you can. You know it's got little to do with the fact that you're going to live in New York, but more about the fact that coparenting Sofia can be a thing again.

Everything is set up fairly quickly. For the time being you're moving in with Addison.

Yeah that's right. It is the Addison you're thinking about. The Addison Montgomery that moved to LA a few years back. Callie always stayed in touch with her good friend, and after all that happened in LA with Addison and Sam, Pete, and with her son Henry, Addison was once again looking for a clean break when she decided to move to New York after Callie and Penny did.

Addison and Callie had a good system running when Sofia still lived with Callie in New York. They both work in the same hospital and took turns in taking care of the kids.

Addison couldn't be more happy to be the mom of Henry, but at times it's difficult as a single parent. Keeping all the balls in the air at all times.

Sofia is already used to being with Addison and being in her home, so it was only natural for you to move into Addison's spare bedroom at first. Just until you're settled in New York and feel confident enough to start looking for your own place there.

You're going to need all the familiar people you can get in the beginning, just to feel at home in a strange city without your people.

You and Addison have worked together before, being in the tiny people field. You've always admired Addison. Even though she's obviously Callie's friend. Always has been, that has never meant for her to always pick Callie's side in things.

No one like Addison knows that there are always two sides to a story. Two at fault, when there is someone to blame for something.

Sofia will be with Callie half the time, and half of the time she's with you. At Addison's. You know Sofia misses Henry a lot. After all the things she's told you about the four year old, you're excited to meet him too.

* * *

You've dropped Sofia off at Callie's before you arrive at Addison's. She's made you dinner and is waiting for you with a glass of wine ready.

Her interior is just the way you expected it to be. Like she's got her life in order. It's neat, taut. There are a lot of windows, so you imagine that during the day there's a lot of light coming in. Everything seems to be thought well through and it's all oh so beautiful. Your head feels more at ease the moment you step through the door.

Her son Henry is already sleeping. You can't wait for it to be tomorrow so you can meet him. You tell her exactly that.

Being here with Addison makes this whole giving up your life in Seattle already a little better. You can't really pinpoint what makes you feel like you do right now, but it's something about her.

You're sitting on the couch together, both sipping a glass of red wine. She talking to you. You're taking it all in. Everything she's saying to you. The room you're sitting in. The way her home smells so good. The fact that she seems so together. It makes you feel more together even though your life is upside down once again.

The way she looks. You haven't really noticed before - you can't figure out why - because she's gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous. Why didn't you notice before? Maybe it's motherhood that's made her shine.

You can see why that would be it. You know as no other how it feels to be without a child when it's not your choice.

But you shouldn't focus on that any longer. You've probably lost more than most persons. But right now you're starting over. A new city. An old friend. Your daughter and her other mother. You have all the ingredients for a happy life right there with you. Focus on it.

* * *

When you wake up you there are voices that you can't place immediately. The voice of Addison quickly becomes known to you, but the other one you can't place. It's the voice of a little boy. You step out of bed right away when your head catches up. Henry. You're going to meet Henry.

You put your leg on and get dressed as quickly as you can.

When you enter the kitchen you're greeted by the prettiest sight. Henry is sitting on a barstool eating the pancakes that are standing before him on the counter. While eating he's talking to his mother. Something that doesn't sit well with Addison.

"Henry, baby. Don't talk while you eat please," you hear her say sternly to her son. Still the love for that little boy is radiating from her whole being.

He doesn't seem to mind his mother telling him what to do. He seems to just accept what she is saying and stops talking.

That is until his eyes find yours. His blueish/grey eyes captivate your blue ones. His mouth turns into a smile that you already feel lighting up your life.

You vaguely register Addison looking at you. She's clearly happy with your facial expressions regarding her son because you see her lighting up just as hard.

"Hi Henry," you hear yourself saying.

"Hello. My mom said you were coming," he tells you bravely. Like he wants you to know that he's smart enough to remember what his mother tells him.

"Yes, is it okay with you that I'm staying here for a while Henry?" You talk to him like he's another adult that totally has a say in what happens in this household. And secretely it's important to you to know if he's okay with you being here too.

"You're Sofia's mommy right? She's here lots of times." It's his reasoning for you being here. You're okay with that.

Addison's face is telling you to come closer and to join them for breakfast.

She caresses his hair one last time before she adresses you completely.

"Did you sleep okay?"

"I did thanks. The bed is perfect and I was beat up anyway."

"I can imagine. Any plans today?"

"I have to swing by the hospital for an interview. Well not even really an interview, they just want a conversation before I start working there next week."

The hospital where Callie and Addison work was stoked to hear you wanted to work there too. It made the move a lot easier for you to know that you do have a job there.

"Are you working today?"

"I am. I'm dropping off Henry with Callie in an hour and then I'm going in. What time are you supposed to be there?"

"In two hours. Can I join you? That way I can stroll around a bit and get to know the place."

"Of course. Then you get to see Sofia shortly when I drop him off."

"Pefect."

You're not really looking forward to see Penny. You hope your face doesn't show. Focus on the good. Seeing Henry and Sofia interact for the first time. Focus on that.

* * *

**A/N**

**Well that's it for chapter one, the beginning of this story! I already worked through another four chapters, so you should expect regular updates. The story will be around 10 chapters until it's wrapped up! If you like it, review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N**

**Hi everyone. So, I promised you guys regular updates, and here I am. But I have one thing to say, or better yet to write first. I am here for the people that want to read my story. I'm not forcing you to read it. I'm not even asking you to read it. It's just here for the people who are interested. If not. Just don't read it. It's not that hard. I'm not misleading you in any way. The pairing is clearly stated everywhere. The people tagged are not up for discussion. I even put a warning in the summary about the pairing, and again at the beginning of chapter one. **

**And don't get me started on the reviews guests are leaving behind that have like zero respect for me or my story whatsoever. **

**It's pretty easy as a guest to leave a review when the writer can't respond to you directly huh? Pretty safe from behind that screen? So this is me reacting to those guests for once, and one time only. Because frankly I don't want to give you the time of day. **

**I took the time to write a story that's been in my head for a while. I'm not asking you to get behind my story. It's a story of fiction that has been playing in my head. Those are my words, my thoughts. I'm not asking you to attack something that is a product from my imagination, for which I've taken the time to put it to paper and share it with the world.**

**And don't even get me started on the thought that Addison would never fall for the ex of her best friend. Newsflash: she did. Sam Bennett, remember? And poor Addison falling for the female version of Mark Sloan. Come on, we all know that Arizona's better than that. And we all know that Addison isn't exactly a saint in the love department either.**

**Also a few guests pointed out that 'us lesbians' should stop turning straight hot people gay. For one: I'm not a lesbian. If you want to identify me as a lesbian because I'm writing a lesbian story, perfectly fine with me. I love lesbians. I love women. I love a lot of things. **

**But: you don't know me. If anything I would identify as... well actually, I don't even want to identify myself as something. Let's just leave it at I love women, it's an understatement really, and frankly I don't really care who loves who. And I could care even less about labelling it. The world has enough labels as it is. And: sexuality is fluid. And people who don't think so, are close minded. In my opinion, so don't start attacking me over that one. **

**For the people who did follow the story because you'd like to see where I'm taking this. YAYY! THANK YOU FOR BEING OUT THERE! And have fun reading chapter two :)**

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**Previously in chapter one**

"_I am. I'm dropping off Henry with Callie in an hour and then I'm going in. What time are you supposed to be there?" _

"_In two hours. Can I join you? That way I can stroll around a bit and get to know the place." _

"_Of course. Then you get to see Sofia shortly when I drop him off." _

"_Pefect." _

_You're not really looking forward to see Penny. You hope your face doesn't show. Focus on the good. Seeing Henry and Sofia interact for the first time. Focus on that._

* * *

**Chapter two**

**Arizona's POV**

This is where you are supposed to be. Bit by bit life in New York gives you hints that brings you the idea that this is in fact where you are supposed to be.

You like the house you're currently living in.

You like Henry.

You like Sofia with Henry.

You like being close to Sofia. That kind of goes without saying. And despite everything that happened with Callie, you like the fact that Sofia is now again close to both her parents. Because this gap on the globe was never your choice, and not at all Sofia's choice to be far away from one of her moms.

You get that Callie and Addison were able to move to New York, because the hospital is top notch. It won't take much to get used to working here.

It also helps that you and Addison work in a field that overlaps and therefore you get to work with at least one person that you know. It was one of your fears. You worked for years in a hospital where everyone knew who's who. And a lot of those people were actually your friends. People you also wanted to see in your free time.

It's hard to go from there to a place where you almost don't know anyone. To a city where you almost don't know anyone. Without Carina. Without the amazing sex with Carina. Ugh.

You need to focus on the good.

You're with your daughter. You're making your daughter happy by giving her both her moms.

* * *

**Addison's POV**

You just got home from work when your door bell rings. You're surprised to find Callie at the other end, because you're supposed to get Henry yourself in an hour. But there they are. Callie's got a certain look on her face that tells you she's here for a reason other then just bringing Henry by.

You give her a quick kiss on the cheek and tell Henry to bring his stuff to his room before he starts playing there.

She walks to your fridge and gets two beers out of them. If it's this type of night you decide to don't say anything and just go with it. She probably needs you to.

"So Arizona just called." She tells you.

"Is Sofia okay, is everything okay?" You feel yourself jump to that conclusion directly because your friend is here with a serious face telling you that her ex just called her and their daughter moved back to Seattle just weeks before.

"Yes, nothing like that. Sofia is fine. Physically at least."

"What do you mean?"

"Arizona called because Sofia is not happy in Seattle. She's happy to see Arizona again, but it's the same situation as here. Here she wasn't happy not seeing Arizona. In Seattle she's not happy by not seeing me, and everything she's gotten used to living here. She misses New York and tried to steal money to get a plane ticket to New York."

You laugh. Because it's kind of funny to imagine a kid going to that kind of trouble to get to New York. But it's sad really. All this moving around was never Sofia's choice, and she's actually the only one who has to deal with it without having a say in it.

"So now what?"

"She's moving here."

"Sofia's moving here again? She just got there. Call, she had to get used to New York also when she first got here. She just has to get used to Seattle again."

Before you ramble on Callie stops you.

"Arizona. Arizona is moving here, with Sofia."

You're stunned really. You don't really know how to the describe what you're feeling right now. Let alone what Callie is feeling.

"Wow, I didn't see that one coming."

You love your friend. You do. You're so happy you have made the choice to move to New York and have built a life here with Callie, Sofia, Henry and even Penny.

But the way things happened up until the move to New York… You don't really talk about it with Callie. She knows that she didn't have your vote in the way she handled things.

You were in awe of Arizona for letting Sofia move to New York still, after everything that happened. After everything Callie set in motion. You wouldn't have blamed her if she didn't. She didn't have to let Sofia go anywhere with Callie, and at that point Callie had no right. She had herself to blame.

"Can she live with you?"

"Uhh, what?" You didn't see that one coming either.

"Sorry, I'm a little bit confused. I just didn't expect this. But she wants to get to New York asap and after everything that happened between us. I want to support her. I owe her at least that much."

"She's going to move to a city where she doesn't know anyone. Because I moved to New York for Penny. After everything I did to her. She's still doing everything in her power to make Sofia happy. And I need to start doing the same. But I don't have enough room in my apartment, and besides that I really don't think it's a good idea to have her living with me and Penny, don't you think?"

She's rambling by now. Of course it's not a good idea to have Arizona living with her and Penny. It's the last thing Arizona needs. You have enough room. You get why Callie's here. And in your heart. You want to help the blonde woman too.

Between two kids and being surgeons. It needs a village. Arizona can be part of that village. She should be part of it. She's Sofia's mom.

"Fine," you tell Callie.

"What? Really?"

"Yes, fine. What did you expect Callie?"

"Uh, I uh expected it to be harder to convince you to take Arizona in."

"Well. Focus that on Arizona. I doubt that she'll be willing to move in with me that easily. She isn't the type that accepts help that easily, and most of all help from you."

"I know. But I kind of already convinced her."

"You convinced her not knowing that it would be alright with me?"

"Why do you think I'm so nervous? And I was desperate. I want her to get here asap with Sofia. And despite everything that I've done. I really want her to be happy. And you like her. You've always liked her."

"Well yeah." You don't know why you blush when Callie mentions this. You hope she doesn't notice.

A week later Arizona is waking up in your home and is about to meet Henry for the first time. Her smile when she sees him is about all that you could hope for. It's happy, wide and beaming. Her dimples are full on show. That's how you know her smile is for real. You're so proud of your kid for getting that kind of reaction out of her.

That evening Arizona is already more at ease in your home. Henry is off to sleep and you guys are on the couch again with a glass of red in front of you. Arizona is confident about her new job at the hospital. You can tell by the look on her face that she's already more relaxed than yesterday.

You catch yourself thinking it's nice to be home with someone that lives here. That isn't going anywhere. To just be here, even though you try to think about the fact that this arrangement is just temporary.

Having Arizona here with you feels nice.

* * *

**Arizona's POV**

You and Addison prepared a healthy meal for you guys and Henry together. There are so many new developments that the talks between you two flow smoothly and there are no uncomfortable silences yet.

Before you moved to New York you were afraid that living with Addison you'd feel like a total outsider. Like the bad guy. Addison is after all Callie's friend, and even though she likes you. It kind of feels like you are infiltrating their lives.

But it doesn't feel like that at all, even though you're still constantly aware of what you're saying and how you are acting. You suppose that's normal human behavior for someone that steps into a new life of people that already have their lives into place.

You guys don't really talk about Callie though. It's like apart from the practical stuff about Sofia and Henry, Callie is a forbidden topic. You don't want to get personal about her, and it seems that Addison doesn't want to talk about her either with you.

It's better for you guys to just not mention her as long as it's not necessary.

It helps that you work in the same field and there's enough to talk about there. It also helps that Addison looks the way she looks. And you're not trying to be blunt, or talking about the fact that she's gorgeous. That's a topic for another time. But the way she looks at you. It gives you the feeling that it's okay that you're here, living with her. That it's not just Callie meddling in both your lives to get what she wants.

Even though that is exactly what this is. Callie moved away for Penny, for her girlfriend. Despite considering the feelings of her daughter and her other mother. But enough is enough, and you're chasing your daughter to New York. Callie manages for you to live with her friend. It's not your first choice. It's not like that was Addison's choice. You're aware of that.

You imagined it to be the big elephant in the room. That you would both be there by Callie's doing. And you are both here by her doing, but it doesn't feel like it. And that makes you kind of happy.

Focus on the good. Trying to live in the present.

* * *

**A/N**

**That's it for chapter two! Stay tuned for chapter three. It's already written :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Previously in chapter two**

_Even though that is exactly what this is. Callie moved away for Penny, for her girlfriend. Despite considering the feelings of her daughter and her other mother. But enough is enough, and you're chasing your daughter to New York. Callie manages for you to live with her friend. It's not your first choice. It's not like that was Addison's choice. You're aware of that. _

_You imagined it to be the big elephant in the room. That you would both be there by Callie's doing. And you are both here by her doing, but it doesn't feel like it. And that makes you kind of happy._

_Focus on the good. Trying to live in the present. _

* * *

**Chapter three**

**Addison's POV**

After the first two weeks in New York there's already a new routine forming. Arizona seems to be at ease in her new job, and she seems to be at ease living with you.

Henry is a little ball of happiness since the blonde joined your home. He gets to see Sofia again, but it's more than that. He genuinely likes Arizona. You think it was around the fourth night she spent with you where he realized that Arizona wasn't just another visitor, that she was there to stay.

You don't want to think about telling him that Arizona is not actually going to stay with you guys forever. That it is in fact temporary. You also don't know how long temporary is. So you guess you'll get there when it's necessary, you decide. It's better to keep him in the dark for now.

Around the seventh night he asked Arizona to read him a bedtime story instead of you. If someone would have told you before that in the span of seven nights there could be someone that he wants as a bedtime story reader more than you, you would have told them to fuck off. There would be no way.

You wouldn't want anyone reading bedtime stories to your son other than you. But with her it doesn't feel like a threat. You caught yourself happily watching them read together from just outside his bedroom door. It even occurs to you that this must be what it's like to raise a child together. The way it's supposed to be? Maybe not that, but the way you always imagined it would be.

Living together forms a stronger bond than you thought it would beforehand. There are a lot of rituals that just kind of become one after a while, without either of you guys noticing.

Callie seems to notice though. Arizona has been living with you for two weeks now, and you invited Callie and Penny for a 'dinner party' at your house. Those dinner parties always used to make you feel uncomfortable. Like you were the odd one out, the one not being in a relationship. The single parent in the mix.

You no longer feel like that with Arizona there.

When she puts Sofia and Henry to bed she gives as much attention to your son as she does to her own daughter. It warms your heart to see the way the blonde is interacting with your kid.

Henry is adopted, which in the beginning made it hard for you to deal with people getting close to him. You can't have kids of your own. You're afraid of losing him, there's always that in the back of your mind, still. You hope that someday it won't be, but you think those thoughts will be part of you always.

You don't really have a problem with Arizona getting close to him. You don't really have a problem with Arizona being with you guys, period.

Back in LA when you just adopted Henry it felt like everyone that got to close to him, got too close to him.

Arizona knows that Henry is adopted, but has never mentioned it in the two weeks you're together, even though there aren't a lot of topics from the last years which you guys haven't discussed over a glass of red wine on the couch in the evenings. You like the fact that she knows but you can never find a doubt on that topic on her face. You realize that she doesn't see Henry as your adopted son. She just sees Henry as your son, period.

She's told you multiple times. For example when he drenches his pancakes in syrup exactly like you do. She's there to shake her head no and make a comment on how she doesn't get that you're still looking the way you're looking.

Usually when people make comments like that it means that they think you look good. You like that she thinks so too.

By the sixteenth day that she's with you, she drops of Henry with Callie before she goes to work. It's not just that she gets to see Sofia when she drops Henry off. It's actually that you let her drop Henry off without you being there to witness it.

It's new. You're not good with trusting people around your son. Callie texts you the minute she finds Arizona at her door without you. It's a normal text with a mention of Arizona dropping Henry off. It's enough to know that she's onto you.

You don't know what she's onto. You don't really know what is going on precisely yourself. You just know that whatever you and Arizona seem to be doing works, for the both of you.

Callie is dropping both of the kids off at the daycare in the hospital later that day. At the end of your shift there's a patient that immediately needs your attention. Two and a half weeks back you would have texted Callie about this. Right now you're calling Arizona to make sure that she hears your message to take Henry home with her.

"Hey, I'm needed here for a few more hours. Can you get Henry from daycare and take him home with you to start dinner?"

"Yeah of course. Is Callie still picking up Sofia?"

You get why she asks you. Normally Arizona only goes by the daycare to take Sofia 'home' with her. This time Sofia is going with Callie, but Henry is going home with Arizona.

"Yes, she is." You need to attend to your patient as soon as possible. So you need to finish this phone call quickly. "You have Henry, right?"

"Yes, of course. Don't worry. I'll take Henry to the market and we'll start dinner together. See you tonight."

"See you soon."

The conversation isn't special. There aren't a lot of words, but it feels awfully intimate. Or maybe it's awful that it doesn't feel awful at all. It feels normal. Like it's supposed to be like this.

* * *

**Arizona's POV**

When you arrive at daycare you quickly find yourself in a discussion with one of the teachers to get Henry home with you. It's the first time you realize that this whole triangle might be more difficult than it feels for you.

It's also the first time that you address Addison's home officially with home in your head.

"Dr. Montgomery is with a patient. She asked me to take Henry home," you tell the teacher.

"Dr. Montgomery never lets Henry go home with anyone but her, and occasionally dr. Torres."

"I'm Sofia's mom. Dr. Torres' ex-wife." You hate to bring that information into this. "I just moved to New York to be closer to Sofia and her other mother, and I'm living with dr. Montgomery. She asked me to take Henry home because she has a patient to attend to."

"I'm sure that's all true miss. But I'm going to call dr. Montgomery to verify that information if that's okay with you."

It's not okay with you actually. But you doubt the woman is going to listen to you for real. You can see Sofia and Henry playing together, but they don't see you behind the glass.

"It's dr. Robbins, thank you. And fine, call her. But know that dr. Montgomery won't be pleased with you for disturbing her while taking care of a patient when according to her Henry is already taking care of, by me."

At that point Callie gets there to pick up Sofia. Callie walks up to you and gives you a quick hug before she addresses the teacher.

"I've see you two met already," she's telling more than asking the teacher.

When she sees the teachers' oblivious face she elaborates.

"This is Sofia's other mom, dr. Arizona Robbins. She just moved here and is currently living with dr. Montgomery until she finds her own place."

She addresses you right after. "It's my day with Sofia right? I was supposed to get her?"

"Yes, you are. I'm here to give a big kiss to my girl and to pick up Henry. Addison is still busy with a patient and asked me to bring him home."

"Ah, right."

You can see Callie think. You don't know what's bothering her. You don't care either. You just hope that the teacher won't call Addison and finally lets Henry go home with you.

And indeed she does. Henry, together with Sofia comes running in your direction. Sofia is faster and you scoop her up to give her a big kiss, and set her back down so Henry is still able to get to you.

By the time Henry gets to you Sofia is already in her other mother's arms and you're able to pick the four-year-old boy up to greet him properly.

You kiss his soft cheek and you laugh at the way he scrunches up his face when your wet lips caress his face. He leans his forehead against yours when he talks to you about his day and asks where his mom is.

You realize that both Callie and the teacher are watching the interaction closely. When you put Henry down next to you and grasp his little hand you attend to your daughter once again. You shower her face with little kisses until she asks you to stop because apparently she thinks she's getting too old for that.

You don't think she ever gets too old for that, but that's a discussion for another time. As long as she lets you with little whining you're fine with it. You say goodbye to Callie with a kiss to her cheek and scoop up Henry to go with you.

You two visit the market to get the right ingredients for dinner.

When Addion gets home two hours later she's met with almost the same sight as you got two and a half weeks ago. You and Henry at the kitchen counter. But this time he's helping you cook as best as a four-year-old can help you.

You don't know how long she's standing there looking at you both before she approaches you.

"Hi baby," she tells her son before she kisses his head lovingly and addresses you at the counter.

"Hi to you too," you hear her say when she gets closer to your face. You don't dare to look up to see how close she is exactly.

She kisses your cheek. You lean into her lips a little more. It's not the kiss to the cheek you are used to, most of the time receiving it from Callie nowadays.

It's longer, and you guess more honest. Maybe that's the right word for it.

* * *

**A/N**

**So here's chapter three. By now I'm feeling we're really heading somewhere in this story. The writing flows pretty easily. I hope you guys are getting into this story as much as I am! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Previously on chapter three**

"_Hi baby," she tells her son before she kisses his head lovingly and addresses you at the counter. _

"_Hi to you too," you hear her say when she gets closer to your face. You don't dare to look up to see how close she is exactly. _

_She kisses your cheek. You lean into her lips a little more. It's not the kiss to the cheek you are used to, receiving it mostly from Callie nowadays._

_It's longer, and you guess more honest. Maybe that's the right word for it. _

* * *

**Chapter four**

**Addison's POV**

You can't exactly pinpoint the switch where you went from just you to you and Arizona. Not only with thoughts in your head, but also how you conversate with people, talking in 'we' instead of 'I'. You don't think Callie ever imagined this when she suggested for Arizona to come live with you for the time being.

Over the past week you realized that your good friend doesn't really like this new development. She's not that excited about you and Arizona getting along in the way that you are. But what did she expect? She almost forced you to take Arizona in, almost without any notice.

Arizona is happy in New York. You can tell that she's happy to see her daughter almost every day. She's happy that her daughter is ecstatic seeing her two moms almost every day. Sure, you can tell she misses some of her friends from Seattle, but you get the idea that by just being there for her like you are, you're making up for a lot of that missing.

And Henry helps. You're about a month into this new living situation and you don't even want to think about this routine changing any time soon. Henry is so used to Arizona being in his comfort zone. Who are you kidding? You are so used to being her in your zone. You're afraid of the thought that this isn't permanent. Because you can't keep her as a roommate forever, right?

She already seems so comfortable in New York that you're afraid she's ready to be looking for her own place any time now. Callie also suggests for Arizona to start looking for her own place.

It freaks you out. It freaks you the fuck out. Because Arizona belongs here with you two, right? That's what this arrangement feels like for you. Actually, it doesn't feel like an arrangement anymore. It just feels like it belongs. You think it feels the same for her.

You need people to stop suggesting for Arizona to live on her own. She's living with you guys and it's perfectly fine. You're a perfectly fine family.

That is what it feels like. Like you're a family. When you're getting home from work you know that she is there or will be there at some point, and it puts your mind at ease. It gives you something to look forward to other than greeting your son. Because he has to go to sleep at some point, and after that you were alone again.

Now there are evenings full with conversations and stupid movies that you've seen before but don't mind seeing again if she wants you to.

She's that comfortable with you and Henry that when she gets home she dares to take her leg off and be with you guys without. She dares to ask for help when she needs it.

You guys give it to her gladly. Henry doesn't know Arizona any better than without her leg. He doesn't really ask why Arizona only has one leg. He just sees Arizona as she is now. He doesn't know the Arizona before and after version. And maybe that's what's makes it easier for Arizona too.

When you're on the couch together watching an old movie there's a blanket over you both and somewhere around week six of living together your hand lands on her injured leg by accident. Her face changes in a look of horror mixed with some type of moan when you squeeze her stump to reassure her that it's nothing to be embarrassed about, caused by the terror on her face.

You look at her face intently to see if she really wants you to remove your hands from her leg. She looks a little surprised, but also kind of intrigued that you're touching her like you are. It makes you speak up.

"Is this ok? I mean, uh does it feel good or bad?"

"Uh, yeah good. In Seattle I used to see a physiotherapist to take care of my leg every week. I haven't really looked into it here yet."

"Arizona. You should have told me. I could have recommended someone. You shouldn't compromise on things like that."

"I know, I know. I was really planning on it. Because it finally feels like things are falling into place again. There's room in my head to look for one now. But I guess I really needed this, thanks."

_She's blushing._

"I'll look into it for you tomorrow. Is there anything else I need to know? I'm here to help you with things like this Arizona. I could easily arrange these kind of stuff for you."

"Thanks, and I guess not. You'll be the first to know if there is. I promise."

* * *

**Arizona's POV**

It's not only that she's touching your leg like this. You don't get this feeling when your physiotherapist is touching your leg like this. And in technique that therapist is doing it better than Addison.

It's that _she_ is touching you like this. She. Her whole perfect leggy self that is touching your stumpy leg like she has all the right in the world, and she's totally not bothered by the fact that you only have one leg.

You know she's a surgeon and that might help with the whole deal of not being bothered by this, but the way she's caressing your leg doesn't feel like she's a surgeon that's making her patient more comfortable.

It's not the first time she's touching you. During the last weeks there have been a few looks and subtle touches that you didn't expect to get from her. It is the first time though; that her touch isn't subtle.

This isn't a mistake. It isn't supposed to be something else. It's deliberate. And it's not just your leg that was hurt that she touches. Her other hand is placed pretty high on your good thigh.

You can't look her in the eye. You're afraid to find something you're not ready for. Not that you're not ready for her. Because over the past week you've realized something you'd rather want to keep to yourself for now.

_You like her more than you should._

You're not ready to find out if it's the same for her. If there is indeed something going on there. But more than that you're not ready to find out that there is nothing there. That this is all in your head.

You don't want it to be in your head. So you'd rather pretend like this for a while. Pretend that these subtle looks, touches and even the deliberate touches have nothing to do with her liking you more than she should.

And you're not even talking about that fact that whatever is in your head, is even an option yes or no. Considering Callie for one.

She's just being your friend. Your roommate, your partner in crime where the kids are concerned.

The last one is an important one. You came here with the idea to temporary move in with Addison, until you felt confident enough to get your own place in New York. Now, six weeks later everything seems to have fallen into place. Theoretically it's enough for you to go look further.

But that's just the thing. You don't want to look further. You don't want to look for your own place, leave this house and leave everything that comes with it. Everyone that comes with it.

And the thing is. You don't think Addison wants you to start looking for a place of your own either. When someone at works mentions that they've seen a cute house that would be something for you to check out, or an apartment that has your name written all over it - and Addison is nearby - you find her changing the topic almost immediate, every time.

It works, this thing you have going on works. Of course the children are a big part in that. But they're not the only part. You like coming home to someone. You like someone coming home to you. Even though technically you guys aren't coming home to each other, you have to admit that it does feel like you are.

You're not just excited to get home from work just because going home means free time. You also enjoy getting home to Addison. Getting home to her cooking. To her house, to her son. But definitely also really getting home to her.

In your opinion it usually works like this: you meet someone that is absolutely gorgeous, and when get to know that person better, you see her more or even live with that person in the same house. As a roommate, or as more. And after a while she is getting less gorgeous. Don't get me wrong, she is still the same person, still gorgeous the same. But just because you know her better, the level of gorgeous gets 'normal' in a way. You kinda just get used to how gorgeous she is.

With Addison this doesn't add up. The longer you live with her, the more you get to know her, the more gorgeous she gets. It's sad really, the way you're lusting after a woman that is completely unreachable for you.

If there is one thing you do know about Addison it's that she is as straight as they get. No stupid jokes like 'so is spaghetti until it gets wet'. You're quite certain she's not getting wet by you, so to speak.

Mark Sloan, Derek Shepherd, Alex Karev, Pete Wilder, Sam Bennet. Especially do not forget Mark Sloan. Manslut Mark Sloan. The father of your child Mark Sloan. She repeatedly couldn't get her hands of Mark Sloan. No need to say more, right?

It's your brain talking. Because there are signs. There are hints that would usually be signs for you. You just wouldn't dare to trust those signs with her. And then again you're not even talking about what a mess it would be if it would indeed be the case. You don't even dare to think about the possibility of Addison Montgomery being gay for you.

"Did he go to sleep okay?" She asks you.

She got home late from work which means that you put Henry to bed. The first few times you put Henry to bed she checked on him the minute she got home. Now she just walks by his room to check on him when she goes in for the night herself.

"He went out like a light," you tell her with a smile on your face.

"Good. I can't even imagine that a couple of weeks ago I was doing all of this stuff alone. You're a gift sent from heaven Arizona."

You smile. Because it's nice to hear your presence in her home is welcome, even after six weeks. But those aren't the words you'd like to hear from her. You'd rather hear that you're a sight for sore eyes, or something like that. Just anything in that nature.

You watch the movie while she's massaging your legs under the blanket. At the end of the movie you feel yourself being woken up by Addison through a kiss on your forehead. Most lights around the house are already put out by her. There is slightly enough light to see where you're going.

After checking on Henry yourself you turn in and fall asleep quickly, entering a land where it is allowed to think about Addison in that matter.

* * *

**A/N**

**They're getting somewhere. Just wait for it a little longer...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Previously in chapter four**

_You smile. Because it's nice to hear your presence in her home is welcome. But those aren't the words you'd like to hear from her. You'd rather hear that you're a sight for sore eyes, or something like that. Just anything in that nature. _

_You watch the movie while she's massaging your legs under the blanket. At the end of the movie you feel yourself being woken up by Addison through a kiss on your forehead. Most lights around the house are already put out by her. There is slightly enough light to see where you're going. _

_After checking on Henry yourself you turn in and fall asleep quickly, entering a land where it is allowed to think about Addison in that matter. _

* * *

**Chapter five**

**Addison's POV**

Somewhere in the fourth month of living together with Arizona you hear your son's whining in the middle of the night. It's not like him to wake up during the night. You never had many sleepless nights with him, luckily.

So you're alarmed and go to see what's up.

"Henry, what's wrong." You speak to him lovingly, sitting on his bed next to him.

"I had a nightmare," he tells you softly.

"Oh baby. You had a nightmare huh. You're still afraid now?"

"Ye-ess."

"Can you try to go back to sleep?"

You don't stimulate him sleeping in your room.

"Nohoo mommy."

He looks at you with his bright blue eyes.

"Fine. Just for once okay?"

"Yess, please."

You pick him up and go to your room where you lie down with him. But when he's down he's still not settled.

"Where's Zona?"

"She's sleeping in her room baby."

"But I want Zona too."

You tell him that Arizona is sleeping and that you can't wake her up because she has to work tomorrow. You have to work tomorrow too, but he's your son. So you deal with it.

He starts to cry again softly. And you're sucker for those tears. Especially when he's this sleepy and vulnerable. Normally you're pretty strict but when the boy's afraid during his sleep, you don't see the harm in slacking on being strict a little.

"Go to her room then, you tell him."

You follow him reluctantly. How the hell are you going about this? You can't believe that your son is about to suggest for you guys to sleep together, the three of you. You wait a little longer before you go after him because you want her to be awake when you walk into her room, and for your son to explain this deal to her. You're not going to ask her. You're just not.

By the time you get to her room your son is already snuggled into her side and she's talking to him with a hoarse voice, full of sleep.

"What was your dream about." She asks your son.

He doesn't really answer her. And she gets why.

"You don't want to talk about it, huh?"

She puts her hand on the space next to her and your son, and it's clear that she knows why you're there and that you two aren't leaving her bed tonight.

That's how you all end up in the spare bedroom that night.

Arizona is stroking your son's hair lovingly. You do the same with his back. He falls asleep fairly easy because of it.

All the time her eyes are open and never leave yours when you're both on your sides. Henry's breathing has been even for a while now. She stops caressing his hair and finds your hand on his side.

She links your fingers and keeps looking in your eyes. Probably to see how you'll react. You're not reacting at all, at least not in the way she's afraid of. You're not going to get your hand back or move it away. Not just because you're aware that she's afraid you will, mostly because you don't want to get your hand back. You want your hand linked with hers like it is.

The woman you're next to has been nothing but supportive of you since she got here and instead of making her life better, she's been bettering yours in a way you can't begin to describe to anyone without raising the suspicion of there being a little more to it.

And maybe there is more. You're not even talking about the fact that you're liking her more than just a friend. You're talking about the fact that she's holding your hand right now. Because she is, but it's not because she likes you or you like her. Even though you don't dare to state that she really likes you.

She's holding your hand because what you guys are doing here feels like you're raising him together. If anything you should feel threatened by her. Normally, and in the past, you have been threatened by people that got close to him. And they didn't come as close to him as Arizona, by far.

But you're not. You find yourself wanting to share this with her. Wanting to share him with her.

You began working a couple of late evening shifts every now and then. Normally you would have flipped out over working those, seeing as it's not the ideal situation with Henry at home.

But now that Arizona is here you find yourself able to leave him for half a night every now and then. It makes people at the hospital happy.

When you're working these shifts you usually come home to those two being out cold in your bed. The first night it happened you asked Arizona about it the next morning.

Apparently, Henry missed you and wanted to be close to you. The only way to get close to you was for Arizona to suggest for him to sleep in your bed. But of course she wasn't allowed to leave him either. So that's how they ended up together in your bed that night, and practically every time you work a such shift.

The first time waking up like that was a little awkward. Henry was already out of bed, and during the night Arizona and you got a lot closer then when you slipped into your bed. Before she realized it was you who she's waking up with, she only snuggled closer when she felt you trying to move away.

* * *

**TWO MONTHS LATER (6 months of living together)**

**Arizona's POV**

"Henry, please clean up your toys before you go play in your room. It's a mess and I don't want your mom coming home like this."

Regardless of Arizona's comments, Henry walks to his room without cleaning up his stuff in the living room.

It's been like this for a while. Arizona cleaning up after Henry because she doesn't want Addison coming home in a messy house.

You really want to do this right, because you want this 'arrangement' to work. You don't want to leave Henry and Addison, so you don't want to give Addison the impression that this isn't working any longer.

Because it is working. Or at least it was, until Henry got a little more stubborn with you. So, you've been cleaning up after him for about a week now. And to be honest: Addison is way better than you in setting him straight. Maybe it's because she is indeed his mother.

Maybe it's because you feel like if you do, you're overstepping. Anyway, the boy is clearly testing his boundaries with you. Seeing how far he can take this until you snap.

And you're about to.

You go up to his room to tell him once again that he needs to clean up his act before his mother comes home. And he needs to do it fast, because she's about to any minute now.

"Henry, can you come with me to the living room for one minute," you ask him. You want him out of his bedroom first.

He walks back to the living room with you reluctantly.

You're standing by the kitchen counter and tell him once again what you've just told him.

"I asked you to clean up before you went to play in your bedroom. Your mother is coming home any minute now. And frankly, I just can't keep cleaning up after you. You're a big boy, you know how to do it. You can do it yourself."

When he's stepping away as if he's just going to ignore you and walk back to his bedroom, you grab his wrist lightly. Just to get him to look at you again. To not let him slip away.

He's not in for it. When he turns around, he clenches his fists together and shouts at you.

"You're not my mom. You can't tell me what to do."

It hurts. What you feel is clearly hurt. You recognize it immediately. You've been there too many times before.

You didn't hear the door open. You didn't register Addison coming in to witness her son's outburst against you.

You just stand there.

Hurting.

* * *

**Addison's POV**

You can't wait for this day to be over and go home to Arizona and Henry. You know that at some point you need to address these kinds of feelings about going home to her. You fully realize that going home to her means much more than the simple fact that she lives with you and therefore you are by fact coming home to her.

Noises. You can hear the noises from right outside the apartment. And they aren't good. It seems as if Arizona and Henry are having an argument, or at least Arizona seems pissed with Henry. Something you haven't witnessed in the six months you've lived together.

They don't hear you coming in. Or at least Arizona doesn't. Henry seems to acknowledge you for a split second before you hear him shout at the blonde woman.

_"You're not my mom. You can't tell me what to do."_

He runs away to his bedroom.

You stand there for a few seconds. This is not the son you know.

This is not how you raised him to be.

You look at Arizona.

She is standing at the counter, with her hands holding her up for support. Her head bowed down. You don't think she notices you, still.

You don't want to leave her like this, but first you have to go after your son and speak to him about what you just saw.

Trying not the think about your fears. Your fear for him telling you those exact same words somewhere in the future. When he fully realizes that you didn't give birth to him.

You tell him that what he just said to Arizona was completely unacceptable and you expect him to stay in his room tonight. You tell him to think about what he's said and what Arizona means to him. You also expect him to apologize to Arizona profoundly the next morning.

You get back to her as soon as possible.

She's still at the counter, visibly shaking now. It's clear that she's crying.

You try to approach her as cautious as you can. But when her body shakes some more you wrap your arms around her waist from behind and hug her close to your body.

"Sshh, it's alright," you tell her with your face close to her ear.

Even though she's still sobbing, it's clear that she accepts your body so close to her. She's leaning into you more.

"I'm sorry," she tells you.

"You don't have to be sorry about anything, Arizona." You state clearly so that she really hears you when you're telling her this.

"But, but. He's right," she tells you.

"What do you mean, he's right? He has no right to speak to you like that."

"But I'm not his mother. I shouldn't." She starts to sob harder.

You turn her around in your arms and you back her up against the counter. You need to look at her and she really needs to hear you when you say this.

"No, you're not his mother. But that doesn't give him the right to yell at you for it."

"But, I'm not. I shouldn't even be crying. God. This is embarrassing. I swear I'm not trying to overstep or anything. It just... I don't know."

"It hurts," you state.

From a state of fear for what is possibly to come in the future you can relate to what she feels right now.

"But it shouldn't hurt. I have to right for it to hurt. He's only stating the obvious fact here."

"Babe," you tell her. You don't know where that came from. Actually, you do know. But you weren't planning on using the word in anything other than your dreams about her. Saying it right now doesn't feel that weird though. This moment feels intimate enough for the word to be in place.

"You are not his mother. He is right about that. But also, he's not. Because you and I both know that you'd do everything for that boy. Just like a mother would. Just like I do."

"But I'm not trying to overstep. I don't want you to think that I'm trying to be his mother."

"I know you're not. If it were anyone else instead of you I'd be worried, yes. Because you and him are so, so close. Sometimes I wonder if I can even get between you guys. But you're not trying to get me out of the way. If anything, you're only trying to keep me happy. I can see that."

"I'm not an idiot Arizona. I know you've been cleaning up his crap for over a week now."

You lean into her more. You need her to know that what is happening here, is okay with you. Her getting close to him, but you also want to get closer to her.

The tears are still visible on her cheeks. You lean in to kiss her cheeks, to kiss her tears. You don't know where you get the guts from, but you kiss her face everywhere. Secretly taking advantage of this situation, which gives you the opportunity to get so close to her, without raising too much suspicion.

"I know you're not his mother. But I don't mind you being so close to him. We're kind of raising him together," you tell her before you grab her hands and put them behind your neck.

Your hands cup her face and you move your lips closer to her lips slowly. You've giving her time to back out.

You're giving her time to think about what you just said. What it means. Even though you're not entirely sure yourself what it means.

Her lips. Your lips touch her lips. It's too late to back out now.

You didn't plan this.

It's a soft kiss if anything else. And even then coursing through your body is all sexual tention for Arizona Robbins.

But this kiss. This kiss isn't sexual at all. It's loving. And it's meaningful. It's saying that what you just told her, is the truth.

Nothing more.

Well, a lot more.

But that's for another time.

There is time.

**A/N**

**So sorry to leave it like this. Well, I'm not actually. This is very much planned. Are you guys looking forward to chapter six as much as I am? **


	6. Chapter 6

**Previously on chapter five**

_It's a soft kiss if anything else. And even then coursing through your body is all sexual tention for Arizona Robbins._

_But this kiss. This kiss isn't sexual at all. It's loving. And it's meaningful. It's saying that what you just told her, is the truth._

_Nothing more._

_Well, a lot more._

_But that's for another time._

_There is time._

* * *

**Chapter six**

**Arizona's POV**

She kissed you.

You expected her to be mad. And she was... but not with you.

She kissed you.

It was a small kiss, but it was in fact a kiss.

At first. It was a small kiss at first.

Deliberate, initiated by her, on your lips.

And she got mad at her son for something you were quite sure would be the dealbreaker for you as a roommate.

You both didn't quite know how to act after though. After that kiss.

For a second. The not knowing lasted.

Because she kissed you. And if you were ever going to act on your feelings. It had to be then. In that moment.

She kissed you. It was kinda like a silent, well not that silent, okay for you to act on your feelings.

So you kiss her. On the lips. Deliberate. Probably more deliberate than she kissed you. You think?

You actually don't know how she feels or what she thinks. At all. You didn't expect her to kiss you. You know even less than before about what she thinks or feels.

But you kiss her. Because if there's ever a time for you to do so. With you being kind of sure she won't slap you in the face for it, it's now.

When you're sure she's not pulling back from your kiss, and your lips are placed on her lips for a time where you usually do something else, or more. Like when it's time for you to pull away or prolong the kiss, you bring your hands into the mix.

You grab her neck with one hand, tentatively.

She's still kissing you back.

You put your other hand at her waist.

She's still kissing you back.

It looks like this is really happening.

Looks like it wasn't a mistake. Yet you're still afraid that it is.

Mouths are opening and closing now.

No tongue. There are still no tongues.

But there are lips. You guys are tentatively tasting each other's lips, for real.

You realize that she's standing even closer to you now then when she kissed you.

There's no space between you guys left.

She's taller than you are.

And even though this second kiss is initiated by you. It looks like she has you pinned at the counter.

Because that's where she found you crying. After her son yelled at you.

It feels like a long time ago.

But it isn't. Somewhere deep down, well actually not all that deep down.

It still hurts. The words he yelled at you.

Even though he was so very right. He just stated facts.

You are not his mother.

You are kissing his mother. That you are.

And it's a damn good kiss, if you have anything to say about it.

It's good, tentative. With her perfect soft lips who are working yours like she's been doing just that for years.

It's soothing.

It's also hot. You can't remember it being that hot in here.

The temperature, you mean.

But you guess it's not that at all. It's her. Oh how cliché.

She's making you feel like your body is on fire.

And the pain.

It's getting less. Or it's getting more bearable. She's making it more bearable.

"What are we doing", you ask her.

Why the hell would you ask her that? You stupid idiot. You're kissing her. Just keep doing that. You can just keep doing that.

She leans in once again before she answers.

She kind of answers against your lips.

"Kissing," she answers softly.

Not giving you a real answers. And she doesn't seem bothered by it one bit.

You keep interrupting her kisses.

"We shouldn't," you say.

You really should stop talking.

Right now, whatsoever!

"I know."

"We really shouldn't," you tell her once again.

It's like you're waiting for her to realize that this is a mistake.

"Arizona."

"Yes?"

"Stop talking."

Her words become quite clear to you when she opens her mouth and enters her tongue in your mouth.

Oh God.

Nope, you mean Oh Addison.

Maybe she's not that straight?

Your hands fell along your own body a while ago. By the time you started talking to her.

Her hands took residence behind your neck by the time she told you to stop talking.

It looks like she's not kidding at all, by the way she's kissing you.

It looks like she's not straight at all, by the way she's kissing you.

* * *

**A/N**

**Hi guys, so here's a short chapter. Just because I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. But if you look at it like this: almost thousand words about a kiss. So actually not that short at all. Hope you guys enjoy it! **


	7. Chapter 7

**Previous chapter**

_Maybe she's not that straight?_

_Your hands fell along your own body a while ago. By the time you started talking to her._

_Her hands took residence behind your neck by the time she told you to stop talking._

_It looks like she's not kidding at all, by the way she's kissing you._

_It looks like she's not straight at all, by the way she's kissing you._

* * *

**Chapter seven**

**Addison's POV**

"You're such a good kisser." Arizona tells you.

"Had a lot of practice," you mumble into her mouth.

"Don't remind me."

You can almost feel her mood change.

She keeps kissing you back for seconds before she voices her thoughts.

"Wait," she tells you.

You don't want to wait. You don't want to wait at all. You want this. Her. Now.

But you do, of course you do when she asks you to.

"What about your sexuality?"

"What about my sexuality?" You ask her.

"Well, you're straight."

"Oh, I am? Thanks for clearing that up."

"What? You are, right? I mean... you've never. I've never seen you with... I've never heard about you and women I mean. Only about male partners..."

"And that makes me straight. That's the definition of straight nowadays?"

"No. But I mean... Don't you get what I mean?"

"Yes Arizona, I know what you mean. But also: I expected you to be a little more open minded than the next best person. I guess not though."

You do get what she means. You do get that she's probably honestly surprised that you're not straight. And for her to be struggling with that in her head.

But at the same time you're kind of annoyed. You were kissing her only seconds ago. And not just normal kissing. Not just for a second. There were words said. There was time to think about what you guys were doing. And the kissing still progressed.

It wasn't the type of unsure kissing. You don't kiss someone like that without liking them.

So you walk away to your bedroom. Half expecting her to follow you. Half really not caring about whether she does or not.

When she indeed enters your bedroom she sits beside you on the bed, trying to get you to look at her.

You don't.

You can't. Not if you want to stay 'mad' at her. At this point you're only mad for her, mad about her, to be honest.

You wish she would see that.

"So, you're not straight," she begins.

"Nope. I guess not. I mean... I haven't really given it any thought."

"You mean you're not sure?"

"Oh no, I am sure. I just. Don't really think about being straight or not. And the fact that I'm not, means that I must be what? Bisexual? I just haven't given it any thought, and frankly I'm not about to now. I'm just Addison. I like who I like."

"And for the record: right now I'm hella gay for you."

"Well, that's nice to hear." Arizona plays it down. You can see it in her face. She's smirking.

"Given the fact that I am totally hella gay period. I'm also totally hella gay for you too."

She smiles. An honest smile this time.

And then again what does this mean? If there were no other circumstances you would have pounced her right then and there.

But there are circumstances.

There's Henry.

There's Sofia.

And there's Callie.

That last one might be the most difficult.

The one circumstance that tells you you shouldn't.

The one circumstance that tells you to stop right here.

To draw the line here, now that you still can.

You don't want to draw the line here though. If it's up to you there are no lines where Arizona is concerned. Callie or no Callie, straight or gay.

You're so fucking gay for her.

"What about Callie?" Arizona asks you.

"What about her?"

"Addison... we can't just..."

"Why not?"

"Because we can't. You know we can't."

"How in hell is this even fair? Because she had you first, I can't have you? Anyone can have you, but not me? I don't mean anyone. But like. It's okay for someone that doesn't know Callie to have you. But for me it's not?"

"You want to _have_ me?"

You're about to respond to her that you didn't mean for it to sound so possessive. But when you look at her face you can tell which effect those words had on her."

Quite suddenly the conversation turns into a different direction.

A direction you aren't opposed to. Not at all.

You wanted that direction in the first place. Preferably without the conversation at all.

"I want to _have _you," you tell her. "And even though _not having you_ drives me absolutely crazy right now. We should talk about what _having you_ means. What the consequences are, I guess. It's the responsible thing to do. God knows I haven't been the most responsible person in history. And I want this to work more than I want to _have _you right now. I guess. Actually. That's not true at all, but it's taking everything to be responsible right now."

"I've been pretty responsible before I came to New York and by coming to New York. I'm kinda done being the responsible one."

You don't really get what's happening right now.

She's taking off her shirt.

Arizona's upper body is naked. She walks around without a bra at home all the time. You know that.

You haven't really gotten around to the thought that she wasn't wearing a bra now either.

"So if you want... you know you can _have me_."

* * *

**A/N**

**Leaving it like this for now, I'm being super unfair to you guys and I know it. But still: sorry not sorry. Have fun fantasizing about the next chapter! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Previous chapter**

_"I've been pretty responsible before I came to New York and by coming to New York. I'm kinda done being the responsible one."_

_You don't really get what's happening right now._

_She's taking off her shirt._

_Arizona's upper body is naked. She walks around without a bra at home all the time. You know that._

_You haven't really gotten around to the thought that she wasn't wearing a bra now either._

_"So if you want... you know you can have me."_

* * *

**Chapter eight **

**Addison's POV**

Within seconds you stripped yourself from the most of your clothes before you tangle yourself in her.

She doesn't have to tell you twice.

She doesn't have to give you a 'go' again. Before she changes her mind she's underneath you in only her underwear.

You stripped her from her leg also. Quickly so that she couldn't doubt herself about that part of her. You don't doubt it, you don't want her to.

"Quick question." She interrupts you while your lips are nearing those perky breasts of hers that you've been seeing, and doing a lot of things to, in your dreams for some time now.

"I hope it's important," you mumble against her skin. "I'm kinda busy right now."

"Love the enthusiasm." You can hear her smirking. "Just a quick question. Have you, you know: done this before? With a woman I mean?"

"Nope I'm gonna wing it," you tell her before you wrap your lips around that pink nipple that's been staring at you for way too long.

* * *

**Arizona's POV**

She's going to wing it? Okay? You don't think you've ever heard a woman - that is about to fuck you - say that to you before.

It sure doesn't feel like winging it, though.

It feels like she knows exactly what she's doing. Like she's been planning it all along.

Not second degree murder, but a second degree fuck.

Meaning: premeditated, intentional.

You can't get over how sure she is about herself given the fact that she's never done this with a woman before. Maybe that's what life's like when you're sex on legs.

But then again it suits her. Like it really doesn't mean anything to her, labels. You get that now. She's about to have sex with _someone_. It doesn't seem to matter that _that_ someone has other body parts than what she's used to.

But still, luckily she does seem to like those body parts of yours.

She seems to really _really_ like those body parts of yours.

You hear her moan when her lips come in contact with your breasts. She's not even looking at you. It's obvious she's not moaning to turn you on or something.

She's so wound up in her own world of exploring you.

Seems like she really is hella gay for you. If you didn't know any better you would think that she's totally hella gay period.

You're kinda embarassed about being so wet for her already.

You were already dripping from that kiss alone. She's not helping your situation by the way she's suckling your tits now.

A little voice in your head is telling you that the amount of wetness down there might scare her off.

You couldn't be more wrong. She practically rolls her eyes when she sees how wet you are.

_It doesn't scare her. It doesn't appal her. You're okay. She's okay. Just enjoy this_.

She's enjoying this. Enjoying you. Like you're the favorite snack she couldn't have for a while.

Like she hasn't eaten for days.

"Looks like I'm doing something right," she tells you.

_Something? Yeah something alright._

It's hard for you to get some words out. To form any kind of response other than your breath that's a little heavy right now.

"Yeah, you're doing fine."

She looks up at you at the word fine.

Fine never sounds quite as good as the actual definition of the word; of very high quality; very good of its kind; satisfactory.

Addison is fine. Of very high quality. Very good of its kind, and above all very satisfying.

Remember Carina? Set your body on fire in ways you never knew before. Excellent technique, perfect balance between pleasure and pain, and a little crazy.

This?

It sets your body on fire in ways you didn't even think possible.

No excellent technique, but what is to be expected?

Between pleasure and pain, balance is nowhere to be found. There's pain because she's not letting you cum right this minute. Yes, that's right. She's that bossy already.

Pleasure level is over the roof with everything that frustratingly beautiful mouth of hers is doing to you.

Crazy? Yeah... crazy hot that is.

You kinda don't get how she can be this flustered over your body.

"I think I might be a little more gay than I let on earlier. I mean. Ugh, your body...I love the way your body looks so toned but your skin is so soft."

"Mhmh," you mumble.

_You love the way she wasn't talking a few seconds ago._

"I love the way your hips lift up into my mouth when you want more."

"I want more now," you breath out.

"Patience Arizona," she tells you. "This is my first time Arizona. Are you really going to push a girl on her first time?"

Your moan sounds more like a growl this time.

And not because she's leaving you hanging by that sentence, but because you're once again reminded that this is her first time.

First time with a woman. First time and first pussy. Her first taste. It's you. She's going down on _you. _

You don't care if this train of thought is accurate or not: she turned for you. You turned her gay. Spaghetti is straight until it's wet. You are wet. So wet for her. And she's so soo gay for you.

She usually goes for guys. You are not a guy. And she might not care. But you do. You love that she chose you. You love that you are her first.

Being her first turns you on immensely. Which is kind of weird because in the past you never really wanted to go for the straight girls. You always tried to avoid them.

You don't care with her. Don't care what she is or who she likes. She's with you now and you're planning to make her stay there.

"Would you just shut up and fuck me already," you tell her.

_Kinda desperate don't you think?_ _But you are, by this point you are... _

And you know better than to think she's really nervous about this being her first time, and therefore you should take it easy with her. She's all but taking it easy with you.

She's all but taking it easy with you when she enters two of her long slender fingers into you for the first time.

She's all but taking it easy with you when she latches her mouth onto your clit for the first time.

She's all but taking it easy with you when she rides your face after you came into her mouth for the first time.

* * *

**A/N**

**Didn't think I'd make you guys wait for long, did you? Not this time... I'm not THAT cruel. Hope the chapter is to your liking. People who read other stories of mine before might know that I write these kind of scenes a little bit different than a lot of writers on fanfiction. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Previous chapter**

_"Would you just shut up and fuck me already," you tell her._

_Kinda desperate don't you think? But you are, by this point you are..._

_And you know better than to think she's really nervous about this being her first time, and therefore you should take it easy with her. She's all but taking it easy with you._

_She's all but taking it easy with you when she enters two of her long slender fingers into you for the first time._

_She's all but taking it easy with you when she latches her mouth onto your clit for the first time._

_She's all but taking it easy with you when she rides your face after you came into her mouth for the first time._

* * *

**Chapter nine**

**ARIZONA'S POV**

The next morning you wake up in her bed by someone knocking on the door.

It takes you some time to realize who it is. Who it must be.

Her son.

It also takes you some time to realize why you are in her bed in the first place.

And that you're naked.

You're both stark naked.

"Addison," you whisper.

She stirrs a little in her sleep, but not enough to wake up fully.

You really need her to wake up before Henry barges in.

Can he barge in? Did you guys lock the door last night?

"Addison, wake up," you speak a lot louder this time.

She pulls you in by your waist. Defs not needing time realizing that you're next to her stark naked.

"Let's sleep a little longer." She kisses your naked back.

"Your son," you tell her. "Henry is at the door. We're naked."

You're sitting up by now clutching the covers tightly to your chest.

"Mom," you hear him from behind the door. "Why's the door locked?"

_Thank God the door is locked, otherwise he would've walked in by now. _

Luckily Addison is in immediate mom mode when she hears Henry.

"I'm coming right out baby, why don't you start the coffee machine for me and Zona?"

You can hear him walk towards the kitchen, and still feel the need to get dressed as soon as possible.

The covers are still clutched to your chest. Like you're afraid to get caught. Like you're afraid to be seen in daylight.

She's walking towards the door to unlock it, naked.

_She's_ naked.

You expect her to walk towards her closet to get dressed, but instead she walks back to the bed and even though you're sitting on the opposite side, trying to get to your leg, you can feel her getting closer to you.

Once again she kisses your naked back, with more purpose this time.

Her kisses are slow, like there isn't a little boy in the kitchen waiting for you guys, _girls._

You try to get away from her. It's your reaction to the situation. You're not comfortable being naked right now.

"He's in the kitchen, we have a few minutes," she tells you.

It sounds a little weird, but you know she doesn't mean it like that. She's the best mother in the world. She wouldn't do anything that's inappropriate where her son is concerned.

But still you feel yourself clutching those covers again.

It feels like you're invading their privacy. Like you don't belong naked in her room right now.

She seems to think otherwise.

"Would you stop trying to cover yourself for just a minute? Just one minute?"

You look at her now. Her tone's different. More serious.

"What's wrong?" She asks you.

Her face is as soft as you remember.

"It's not like I haven't seen this all before," she tells you while she traces some of your skin with her fingertips.

That stupid smirk on her face is doing things to you.

If it wasn't for that little boy in the kitchen you would have floored her there to have your way with her again.

"It's not like I haven't traced every inch of this," she keeps touching your skin with her fingertips "with my fingers, and with mouth."

You kinda need her to stop talking about her mouth. After last night you're nothing but obsessed by her mouth.

You know that's not what this is about though.

Once again she pulls you in by your waist. You let her this time.

"This is not a mistake Arizona. You're not a mistake that I'm scared of waking up next to. You are not a mistake at all."

In this short period of living together she seems to have you all figured out.

"So I'm going to kiss you now and tell you good morning as a proper follow up for last night. Because last night deserves a proper good morning kiss. Last night deserves more than a quick dress up where one of us runs out the door like it was a mistake. Because it was not."

"You are right," you smile. "Last night does deserve more than this."

"And after that my son is going to apologize to you, we are going to have a nice day just the three of us, and tonight we're going to poor ourselves a glass of red and talk about how we're going to make this work. Sound good?"

"Sounds good," you tell her while you watch her mouth, ready for that proper good morning kiss now.

She's lying on her back, the covers only covering her lower half. That smirk on her face still inviting you to wipe it off her face.

She's so schmuck. You can't get over the fact how schmuck she is for a straight girl not being straight. Or whatever.

You know you can't call her that anymore. You don't even think about her like that anymore, it's more a figure of speech.

So you lean in to kiss that schmuck smile of her pretty face.

Just for a minute, but in that minute she needs to feel how you feel about her.

It needs to be enough.

Until tonight.

* * *

**ADDISON'S POV**

Your son is standing in the kitchen making coffee for you guys, and you can't help but not be mad at him anymore for what he said to Arizona.

Of course you don't agree with what he said to her. You don't take it lightly and he still needs to do his apologies. Profoundly. But at the same time his outburst towards Arizona kind of opened another door for you both.

You don't know if you would have dared to open that door if it wasn't for what happened between Arizona and Henry. If she didn't need your comfort like she did last night.

She needed someone and you were there, you tell yourself. But in fact it was much more than that. It became much more, and at the same time it already was much more.

It just gave you the guts you needed to approach her in that way.

Last night. You've been dreaming about it for a while. Maybe a little longer than a while if you'd be honest with yourself.

It didn't come close to what it was like.. every dream you've had with her in it.

You stand there looking at your son without him noticing you. You aren't noticing him either. Not really. Your thoughts are back in that bedroom where she is.

_Can't get you out of my mind._

How can you ever really get her out of your mind now? How can you do one single thing without her in your mind also?

Is this what it's supposed to be like? Is it? Because you don't think you've ever felt like this before. With all of them.

_You're such an idiot. _

Maybe a lovesick idiot, that is.

You hope it doesn't all end tonight.

_Tonight._

Whatever happens you have until tonight with her, with the memory of last night fresh in your brain she is here with you for the whole day.

_Callie, Callie, Callie..._

She might burst this little bubble you're in. It might not be about her in person. It might not even be her fault or her wish to break you guys up. By this point she doesn't even know. But one thing is for sure. Tonight it it'll be about her a lot more than you would like it to be.

You can not let tonight be about her.

It's about you, and about Arizona.

It needs to be about you guys, with _her_ in mind but also really not.

_Not._

_Is there a way where this is going to be okay?_

And then you feel her standing right behind you. So close that you can feel her breath against your neck. She kisses your neck quick and lightly before she puts you both out of your bubble.

"Goodmorning guys," you hear her say.

She's not standing as close to you as before. It's because of Henry, and you appreciate her for it. Of course you do.

_But also you don't. From now on can you ever be in a room with her again without thinking of her like that? Can you?_

"Goodmorning," you hear your son's chipper voice towards Arizona mostly. Seems like he remembers that he's on an apology mission.

* * *

**Later in the evening...**

You've been holding yourself in all day. It's like you're a teenage boy that's just got his first taste of _a little something_ _something..._

If it wasn't for your son. If it was anyone else you would have told them all to go to hell so you could get your hands on her again. Maybe rather your mouth. _Or both..._ Better both if you had anything to say about it.

Do you have anything to say about it, now? Or is it Arizona that's calling the shots?

* * *

**A/N**

**Just to get another chapter out there, has taken me way longer than I would've liked. But it seems like I've found my inspiration again.. Thanks for waiting for me!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Previous chapter**

_**Later in the evening...**_

_You've been holding yourself in all day. It's like you're a teenage boy that's just got his first taste of a little something something..._

_If it wasn't for your son. If it was anyone else you would have told them all to go to hell so you could get your hands on her again. Maybe rather your mouth. Or both... Better both if you had anything to say about it._

_Do you have anything to say about it, now? Or is it Arizona that's calling the shots?_

* * *

**New chapter**

**ARIZONA'S POV**

It has been a good day so far. Henry has apologized to you and after everything that happened with Addison last night, his words already stung less than they did after he just said them.

His mother kissed every part of you that ached, _and did not ache. _You should stop thinking about his mother kissing you altogether, if you want to keep your head in the game. You need your head for that conversation with Addison that's about to start. I you don't, you're more than ready to walk into that bedroom of hers and forget about the much needed conversation altogether.

Somewhere deep down you know that the more you to get into this.. The more you fall into each other, the harder it'll get to get anywhere with each other. The harder it'll get to tell Callie. The harder you'll end up ruining it before you even got anywhere. _You want to ruin her though, in a sexy kind of way._

It seems to take forever tonight before Henry's asleep and the two of you can finally start talking to each other about things that matter. Even though you should be talking about those things that matter, you find yourself putting nonsense into your conversation the moment it starts. You should not be talking about how nice the weather was today, and how much fun you had with Henry this afternoon.

It's all nonsense, and she's smirking because she knows what's happening. _You're nervous and she can see it from miles away._

You don't know why she's laughing because this conversation isn't funny to you at all. In the slightest you did not expect yourself to get irritated by her, by Addison. _It's your nerves. Your nerves are causing the irritation._

But still you can't help yourself...

"Why are you laughing? Do you think this is funny?"

"Arizona.."

"What? I do not think this is funny at all."

"Arizona, I don't want to start a fight with you.."

"I'm not starting a fight."

"No? Then why are you raising your voice", she says while laughing at you a little.

She's smirking again. And damn it if that mouth of hers isn't the most sexy mouth you've ever had the privilege of tasting, you would have let yourself get on with this 'fight'. But the result of that fight would not be what you want to accomplish here. You don't want her to run. You don't want her to distance herself from you. You want no distance. _No distance whatsoever._

And on top of that you know that these are your nerves talking. She knows it too.

"Im sorry."

She tells you it's okay and moves closer to you. You can see her lifting her hand up to your face and she puts your hair behind your ear like she's been allowed to touch you like that for years.

The touch is so intimate and soothing that again you can feel yourself getting agitated by this situation all over again. _It's like you can feel her slipping away without having a say in it._

She kisses you beneath your ear shortly and whispers for you to relax. She kisses you there a few times. _It's more than enough to actually make you think about relaxing with her instead of having this conversation.._

You would give anything to take her to that bedroom and let her make you relax. _She's proven to be able to do just that last night.._

How can you relax when you're sleeping with your ex-wife's best friend? _How can this situation magically resolve into not a big deal?_

If it would only be 'sleeping with' though, it would not even be such a big deal. Callie has no say whatsoever in who you're sleeping with. It isn't any of her business. The problem is that even before you slept with _her _you already knew that you want in this family. Not just for a while, but for a long time if not more.

_And that makes this situation a whole lot more complicated. _

* * *

**ADDISON'S POV**

It's not like you don't get how she feels. You're also hoping for her to be the one with the solution here, but considering her nerves about the conversation she doesn't seem to have one either.

You both can talk all you want but the situation won't change. Callie won't disappear.

The only difference between the two of you is, for some reason last night with Arizona has opened up a whole world for you and you're not about to close it again just because it might get tough. You're in this, into her and you're not about to let anyone take it away from you. You knew last night what you were getting into and there was no going back from it.

So you tell her just that. It's not a solution, it's not a conversation where one of you finds some kind of loophole. There is no loophole.

_You're here. She's here._

You suggest for you guys to see where _this _leads before you tell Callie. Because being honest with her is the only way here.

She might not like it, and even be mad as hell. Or she might react less strongly than you expect her to. _Miracles do happen._ She might be all kinds of things. You're sure about one thing: you're not ready to let her burst your bubble.

She doesn't deserve to burst that bubble just yet.

You two need to know what _this _is before you tell her. Because you need to be the one to tell her. She's your best friend. Arizona might be her ex-wife, but that's just it. She's an ex. Of course she has to be on good terms with Callie for Sofia, but Arizona doesn't owe her an explanation about her lovelife. The fact that _that_ lovelife is with you, Callie's best friend though.. makes things a little different and a lot more difficult.

You two need to be so sure of _this _will it even stand a chance after you tell her.

Right now you just want to work on what _this_ is between you and Arizona. _Right now you want to 'work' on or under Arizona, you're not picky.._

Maybe it would be smarter to end this night with a proper goodnight kiss.

_It defs would be.. __Then again theres a lot that could be labeled as 'not smart' about last night also._

You're actually quite done with being 'smart' when it comes to Arizona. It feels like you've been smart around her for months. It might actually be more like weeks, since you've actively been pushing down your feelings for her.

After last night you're not planning on pushing down your feelings again. _Now that you've had her you don't think you're capable of pushing them down anyway._

Just because Arizona's nerves need to be calmed, you tell yourself.

And just because Arizona might need a little reassurance. _Or a lot a lot more.._

You look at her. It's quite clear what your intentions are, what you want from her.

How is it possible that you've been holding _those_ looks in for days, weeks on end?

And suddenly you can't hold them in altogether? There's no filter between your feelings and her any longer?

_She sees right through you, it's pathetic really.._

"Addison," she calls you. Her voice is soft, a little hoarse. She's clearly on to you. "Don't you think we should take it slow?"

"I mean, don't get me wrong.. I loved last night, and even though it might not have been _the_ smartest thing to do, considering our emotions were all over the place.."

Pleadingly she looks at you, like it pains her to even suggest this.

She goes on: "Tonight though, we should be able to control ourselves right?"

The ball is in your court now. She giving you another chance to think about this, to be the smart one.

You can also see that she's also having a hard time keeping herself together. It'll probably take another one or two of those blinks before she let's her composure fly out the window, so to speak.

Just to tease her, to let her think that you indeed think it's better to take it slow from now on you suggest the following.

"Okay, you're right. Let's just watch a movie together and see what happens."

"See what happens," she asks you.

"Come closer will you."

She settles down between your legs and you put on the movie. You're quite sure she's a bit confused with your mixed signals.

From the way you're sitting right now it's pretty clear to you also that she isn't wearing a bra, again. You can see her perky boobs right under that top.

If it was almost impossible for you before to reign your raging hormones in, it defs is now.

To hell with taking it slow.

There's no way you can stop your hands from getting under that shirt and feel her up, now that you're 'allowed'. There have been too many nights with you only casually looking at those perky tits of hers. Nights that ended with your fingers inside yourself trying to keep quiet so she wouldn't hear you screaming out for her.

You can feel her catch her breath when your fingertips come in contact with her nipples. It's taut, her breathing is getting heavier.

_To hell with taking it slow. _You whisper into her ear: "So many nights," you begin.

You keep touching her softly. Enough to keep her interested, not nearly enough for it to be _enough_.

"We've been sitting here on this couch together for so many nights. And none of them I was able to do this."

"I can't go back there Arizona, not after last night. Sitting on this couch with you, seeing you sitting there with your pretty face.. that body and damn woman your constant lack of wearing a bra, and not being able to do what I want to do to you."

There are no mixed signals about what you're about to say to her. Your signal is perfectly clear this time.

"Take me to bed, Arizona."

You're done with taking it slow.

It's enough. Well it's not exactly enough _enough_, not by far.. but it's enough for her to turn around and kiss you.

You grab her hand gently and guide it into your leggings. Just to make sure she knows exactly what she does to you.

Let her know you've been tortured by her without her even knowing it.

"You have know idea what you've put me through Arizona Robbins," you tell her.

"I think I might have an inkling." She tells you while she wastes no time exploring how wet you are for her.

She looks at you with those blue orbs that are trying to tell you something.

"What?"

"Let's just say these walls aren't as soundproof as you think they are."

Great. The reason for that smirk on her face is the fact that something just clicked for her.

Now that she knows what she does to you, she also knows that you've been screaming out her name all this time.

_You feel like that teenage boy all over again. _

* * *

**A/N**

**So there's that. Finally another chapter out there. Arizona McDimples perky, this one is for you! Hope you recovered from the knee surgery. **


End file.
